Need advice. Snooped, discovered infidelity.

[mkultra]

Many spouses do leave signs and want to be caught. They want their secrets to be out of the closet. My H has it easier now that his affair is public so he can be more open with her. Before he had to sneak around. Now he can enjoy her company in front of everyone! How is that better? It is open and honest but in my opnion it is humiliating and immoral. Oh well. Even my kids know and he will have to deal with that pretty soon.

When and if your H tells you, you will be prepared. It will not be a shock and that is good. My H cried when he told me but he did not take any accountability or apologize. That was awful. He felt completely justified as I kicked him out and he told me he did not love me. According to him the marriage is over so it is not my business who he sees. The infidelity bomb is one thing. The apathy is another. How I wish my H acted like yours, remorseful, loving, caring. You have so much to work with here. Reward his positive traits. It is like dog training now. reward his honesty. When he admits it, you can say that you already knew but that you were giving him time for when he was ready to talk about it.