please help with advice, new here, H in mlc

[HBT]

mom/w8ing,hope, yr,all,
I appreciate all of you so so much. Not sure what I'd do if I didn't have this site to run to. I am up all hours reading etc. and yes mom, the throwing up is still going on. I'm starting to worry as I have a kidney Dx and they are hurting now too. Anyway, I made some initial steps this am to not talk to h and went on with my own business; I had cleaned the entire downstairs, watered my outside plants and garden(which were on the verge of death) and fixed the back sliding door(all by 8am)-which h had been spraying silicone on to unstick it for about a year now to no avail. Well I got out the good old br clorox, cleaned the heck out of it and put evoo on the track and now it slides like butter! I am so proud. My son came in this am after a sleepover and I told him and he just smiled so! It made me feel good.

Amyway, about last night-I did take a stand on the finances. I told him the spending HE was accauntable for would NOT be tolerated or any part of the new budget plan since he feels the need to spend like no tomorrow. It was a real awakening. I told him where he can find the records and figure it out and I will answer any questions he has but his check better not move. He said he hates it when I'm like this! Oh well!

Then, he insisted on talking to my d and I wanted to shelter her from it for alittle longer but our talk got alittle heated. It ended with me telling h I have to do whats best for her since I will be the one to pick up the pieces when he goes. He tried to say that wasn't my call. Well, unfortunately, I found my d in her br crying. She was shaking and quiet. I got her to open up and she said she was afraid we were getting a d. I talked to her for a moment myself then went to join h to let him in on it. It was so heartbreaking, the hardest thing I ever been through in my life. I assured her ther was NO talk of a d and this was just some time apart for H to think. And just as soon as it was over, he was back out drinking and smoking his cigars and me and my d spent the rest of the night bathing, listening to music and talking about HER/girl stuff. Nothing about us. It was so strange. Then we tucked her in assuring her nothing would change for her and we went to bed. H seemed very withdrawn and despondent, seemingly taking in the enormity of his actions. It was so surreal. I did NOT shed a tear for him!!!HORRAY!