My personal feeling is that your reached a state of differentiation that you were able to maintain in the presence of your H's bluff. I don't think he really thought you would move forward with D; you would re-fuse like so many times before and then repeat the negative pattern.
I think you are probably right because I think he was genuinely shocked when I started dating.
Quote:
You chose differentiation.
I would say that I will continue to choose differentiation too. I may choose to be in a committed relationship again someday but I will never choose to be in a fused relationship (except perhaps in the self-aware way one might choose to be emotionally self-indulgent by watching a movie that is a tear-jerker).
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver