LIFE CAN HAPPEN AGAIN

[I_Still_Love_Him]

I do believe that if you are a true DBer people sit up and take notice - including a walk away spouse. True DBing is different from pretend DBing. DBing "with a catch" doesn't work because you are the one who gets hurt. If you DB with the intention of getting a spouse to take notice your head will not be in the right place and you only hurt yourself because you stay wrapped up in the situation too much.

I see it happen here all the time and I want to cry out but I know no one will listen to me so I don't bother.

I'm not sure that people don't listen but rather that letting go is so hard especially if they don't believe. The first thing people have to do is find their way back to God and know that only He knows what is right and when.

You have to take your own life seriously. It's all you've got. You don't know if your spouse will ever be back or not so you have to learn to live without them. I will venture to say that the longer you take in doing this - the longer it will be before you feel healthy and whole again.

I spent the first year of our separation dwelling on H and forgot all about myself. Then I had an awakening. Aren't I worth more than H? Why don't I start putting all the energy on me since there is nothing I can do for him. That is when I started living for ME.

If we can't do this for us, then how can we be a better person for anyone else.

Move on........allow your life to be a gift. Grow. God will guide you. You will be amazed at the miracles in store for your life. You are only holding yourselves back when you stay in the rut you build for yourselves.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. You are so on the mark and I certainly hope that others don't spend one extra day thinking about their WAS and how to win them back. We shouldn't have to win them back. They are not the prize; we are.

Hugs,
ISLH