I Belong Over Here

[RedHeadWife]

Well, I feel as if my emotions are constantly all over the place, which I guess is normal for my sitch. Not only am I still dealing w/ the aftermath of my D sitch, but now w/ H deployed, I feel as if I'm running a marathon, or actually more like a 50 yard dash, constantly w/ the 3 boys, work, etc.

H has come around more & more lately. Verbalizing more and making sure I know that he absolutely loves me and staying M is what he wants. I have slowly quit feeling as if I can't talk to him about anything R related or anything about the whole D sitch w/o making him change his mind about staying. I pretty much have been able to ask him or talk to him about anything, although I don't do that very much and pick and choose what I am going to say. I don't have any desire to rehash our sitch at any given time w/ him. I'm slowly getting responses/answers from him that I need about specifics and that's enough.

I'm very much looking forward to my trip over there to visit him. He left May 1, so it will be 4 months since I've seen him. I leave in 3 weeks. I know he is looking forward to it too. I hope it is just one huge honeymoon for us, as I'll only be there for a week, but then we just need to wait for December and he will be home for a month. Then he will go back, but be home for good in May.

Since we have been living here, I haven't really made any close friends that I do things w/ outside of work, etc. I usually just have focused on the family, etc. I'm now reaching out more which is kind of hard for me. I'm a very outgoing person, but also very private in a lot of ways and don't necessarily make "close" friends easily. I'm taking advantage of my parents living here to take care of the boys and doing more for me. I went out a few weekends ago, then had some friends over after my S3's bday party last weekend. A girl from work, who I would call a friend, and I are going to start taking belly dancing classes every Tuesday night. A band that I really like is coming to town and I'm going to go to that concert. Usually I wouldn't have gone, but I'm really trying to do things for me before I go absolutely crazy.