Why do these things happen lX

[789]

Well what an uneventful weekend so far. My son has been at IL's house since thursday missing that little monkey badly.
1st ex-wife got married for the 4th time yesterday, now that is one confused women, guess I should count my blessings that I was her 1st one and not the 4th .
This I believe is the first time since our separation that my wife has been alone without someone with her for any length of time, I am not there, son is gone, her parents aren't up here with her. I have been pretty good for the last couple weeks but damn I am starting to miss being around her again, part of me wants to call her and ask her out to lunch, but figure letting her go these 10 days without anyone around might just be what she really needs to have some true quality time alone, and hopefully in deep thought. We have our cell phones set to the ice cream truck melody for when we call each other, mainly for our son and if I call it she will just be reminded of me and I would rather her think of me on her own than by something I do.
Think I am just rambling now, time to get out of this funk.

[SallyM]

don't do it...don't call. nothing more to add, but don't. if she's sweating it out a bit, let her. she needs to. if she isn't, well, then the call won't change anything, just make you feel worse.

try to get out of the house.

good luck!

[789]

Well I figured I'd update my thread, but nothing to update. Son is out of town and haven't seen or talked to the wife all week.
Good / Bad / Indifferent, I have no clue. But I am alive and kicking.

[mkultra]

That is always a good start. Let's begin each day alive and kicking. It is falling asleep that is getting difficult.

[789]

Yes, alive and kicking is always a good start to any day.
Turn on the news, can always put you to sleep

[mkultra]

I also agree to letting her call you even though yu are thinking of her. MY H has never called me to say, "Hi." He calls for the kids only, so be it. I have called him many times and now I regret it. I don't anymore and I alsways let his calls go to voicemail unless the kids are here. Focus on detaching. Sorry to hear about your ex wife. She sounds like a serial bride! What is up with that craziness?

[789]

I haven't called, still think about it from time to time. She does call when son is here, I just let him answer, sometimes, but rarely she will ask to talk to me, always kid or finance stuff.
I have been getting a lot better at detaching, hard though when your still in love. But hey I am also GAL, bought tickets the other day for a concert in Sept. all old groups, Def Leppard, Journey and Styx, should be a fun night.
As for my 1st ex wife, I don't feel sorry for her. It is one thing though that does prove to me that Michele knows what she is talking about, myself and her next two husbands could have been clones, 4th is probably the same too, lol. We all looked different of course, but so many personalities are common between the three of us. I only know her 2nd husband, not well but have talked a few times. It is common friends who say that they all might have well just been me. 12-13 years later though I just laugh, especially after reading DR and seeing that is what a lot of spouses do instead of just fixing their current marriage.

[mkultra]

I am pretty sure my H will not have a more successful marriage if he remarries. I do not want to have a self fulfilling prophecy but I just do not think I would be able to make it work with someone else either, even if I met an ideal candidate. I could have fun for a while but I do not think I could build a life from scratch especially with two young ones. People get D too easily without thinking about the future. My H is really taking a giant leap of faith by leaving. Maybe Michele's book should be pushed when we are all married sven years!

Not calling is the smartest thing. I had to call him three times for car, kid, day care and each call became nore and more emotional.

[SallyM]

see, the difference as far as I can tell, mk, is that we are the ones that are learning about ourselves and attempting to save/repair our marriages. that, to me, means less likely to repeat any of the same mistakes twice. whereas many of our spouses, certainly mine, can't see the forest for the trees...he externalizes everything, as far as I can see is doing no work inward. because of that, from what everyone is telling me, he is most likely to end up in another doomed marriage. who knows, time will tell. but I'm hoping if we do D and I do find someone else and marry again, I will have a better chance.

no, it won't be the same. I'm personally DONE having kids, so it won't have that element. I'm different at 40 than I was at 20. there will be differences. but I hope that there will also be something very special there. I hope I can believe in that forever-marriage again, and really learn to trust again. because, I'm sorry, I deserve to get what I want, too, and his actions obviously affect me, but they shouldn't dictate my future.

789, sorry, don't mean to hijack your thread here. I'm happy to hear you didn't call...its not easy, I know. stay strong!

[789]

Hijack all you want, lol.
Nope never did call, wasn't planning on it but I guess I have gone completely dark. Have not talked now for almost 2 weeks. Hope it does some good but not really planning on it. So just doing what I do, whatever that is .