On the other, it bothers me that she is here with me talking reconcilliation and then goes back home to him. It makes me feel like giving the ultimatum but somehow I don't think that is a good idea. I feel pretty certain she is stuck in the mud on this affection thing because she can't give it to both of us.
That is the biggest quandary I have about your wife also. How can she reconcile, while she is still actively seeing OM. Perplexing to say the least. That is where she needs to prove to you that she is serious about reconciling. You need to tell her that is that first step she needs to take. Until that happens all her talk about reconciling, is just that, talk. And to me her acts of affection and saying I love you are lies and not sincere. If they were, there would not still be OM.
“Do you want to be RIGHT or want to be LOVED” “You have to have a life to share a life with someone” “When you stop resisting, you start learning”
