Sorry to see you are a here, hopefully we can help you get through this tough time. Not that this is the place that you wanted to be, but, welcome to our world.
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All signs point to a EA.
From what I have learned where there is smoke there is fire. Your assumption.....actually the proof you have points to atleast an EA. Now, I know that you wish there was a magic bullet to stop the A and start getting your M back on track, but there is not. The sooner you learn to GAL and focus on yourself and your S the better off you will be: emotionally, physically, spritually.
Glad to hear the you have read DR. My first suggestion is to read it again. Keep coming to this MB it is good for your own sanity.
They say that most A last 6 months and die naturally. So if you are willing to gut it out, your M might have a chance.
BTW, you are going to have to 100% of the work to save your M. Your W is in lala land rightnow.