Heimlich, I too played Rugby for about 5 years (college and after). It was a fantastic experience and I only stopped because I severely broke my nose playing basketball (!) and did not want to go through that surgery again.
When I played in an area with many teams, it was fantastic. When I moved to TX it was less fun because of the long travel to/from games. Having played many sports, I would say that the comraderie is definitely the most unique thing about Rugby and stems from the intense, basic nature of the sport. At it's best, this extends to the opponents as well as to your own team mates.
Do it and have fun, but invest in a lot of Advil!
SD
Me 41 W 41 Kids: S9 S7 Married 16 years Bomb dropped 2/2/07 Still living together! current thread
Thanks, I really am looking forward to it. It's (rugby) is something I've wanted to do for quite a while, but never did because I like to hang around with my W and didn't want to put any undue childcare pressures/stress on her with practices and games on Saturday. THAT didn't work out too well for me, did it?
I have a feeling for the comraderie. I went to college at Southern Miss (105 miles north of New Orleans). Managed to get down for a few rugby parties. To my eternal relief, I was getting a pitcher of beer when my friend did his zulu.
By the way, everytime I see your name, I think "Superbad" and get a strange combo of that song and shaft stuck in my head.
No worries on the hijack. Been following DL's sitch and his convo is pre-planned.
Not much interaction with the W the last two days. I did mention that I plan on picking up rugby to her last night and would appreciate, whereever we are, her help with the girls so I can go to games/practice. She just kindof acknowledged with a nod. Can't tell if she is just totally done or if me doing all of this new activity, which I've talked about for a few years, is making a difference to her. As I keep telling everyone else, patience, grasshopper. I've decided to keep moving forward with my life and make myself happy. I'm still very much in love with her, but realize that nothing I can say or do to/with her right now will make a damn bit of difference in the way she thinks/feels. I've been telling her that I'll be OK without her. I'm just now starting to act like it. Just got an invite to a pool party with a former co-worker. He's a fun guy and his boyfriend (yeah, you read that right) throw good parties -- they have a stripper pole in their basement. Should be fun.
BD
Last edited by Heimlich; 08/09/0705:12 PM.
My latest
Me: 36 W: 35 2 D: 9 and 5 T: 16 years M: 12 10/4/06: Bomb 10/5/06: Ended A 4/22/07: ILYBNILWY
Can't tell if she is just totally done or if me doing all of this new activity, which I've talked about for a few years, is making a difference to her. As I keep telling everyone else, patience, grasshopper. I've decided to keep moving forward with my life and make myself happy
Hi BD,
The patience is the key, isn't it.
Following the different threads, you see where most of us, at some point, consider throwing in the towel, so it's good to hear that over & over again.
Great job on doing something you've always wanted to do.
Thanks. It does help to see/hear it over and over and over again. And one last time never hurts either.
I'm not ready to throw in the towel. Really, I've only been doing this with my W around for just at 2 weeks. It really is too soon to expect any turnaround.
For today at least, I'm at a mental state where I'm still in love with my wife and really want her in my life, but it's her decision, for the moment, to move away from what I can offer her. So, I'm acting normally around her, like a friend, when we're together, but just starting to live my life like I want to live it. It's going to be difficult. She's been THE major influence in my life since I was 19. It's hard not to consider how what I do will affect her. I don't want to put any burden on her, but I am going to start figuring out what makes me happy and doing it. Looking back, should have done so earlier in our R, but I really was happy "just" being her husband.
Laissez les bon temps roulez!
BD
My latest
Me: 36 W: 35 2 D: 9 and 5 T: 16 years M: 12 10/4/06: Bomb 10/5/06: Ended A 4/22/07: ILYBNILWY
Well Heimlich it sounds like you are definitely moving down the path to a brighter future as a different man. Congrats on all of the changes.
Hopefully they are just the medicine for her to really start to see the new you (the beautiful butterfly with the german accent ) and want to be a part of it.
And if you head back down this way with an itch to play, I can probably get you in touch with a number of teams between New Orleans and Houston to pick up a run with.
Steel
M 39, W 35 D7, S5 Friends 18+ Together 11+ Married 8 ILYBINILWY 4/7/07 - A BOMB 4/29/07 Seperated 5/16/07 - D Filed She Moved out 7/1 D Busted 6/15/08
Steel, Used to be able to do a pretty good Sgt. Schultz imitation. Sounds good on rugby. Next time I'm down for any length of time, I'll drop you a line.
Stealing the following to add to my thread cuz I like it. Posted by Teresa, aka, New Attitude. Thanks, Teresa.
Quote:
Attitude
The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company...a church...a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is to play the one string we have, and that is our attitude...I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you....We are in charge of our attitudes.
Charles Swindoll
My latest
Me: 36 W: 35 2 D: 9 and 5 T: 16 years M: 12 10/4/06: Bomb 10/5/06: Ended A 4/22/07: ILYBNILWY
Boy isn't that the truth. You have a poor attitude and bad things happen to you. Have a good attitude and positive things will happen to you all the time.
I wish I had printer with me right now to post this to my mirror to remind me to always have a good attitude every day and wondrous things could happen to you.
Me: 41 H: 39 D: 6 S: 4 M-14 T-16 first bomb: 5-12-07 (M dead doesn't really want to work things out.) second bomb: 6-4-2007 (found note he wrote about wanting desperately to be with OW and would have to give up everything) Kelley
W seems to be avoiding any sort of physical contact with me. Kind of skirting around me, etc. when in the past she would have placed a hand on my waist or just squeezed past. Not saying anything about it, but a little annoying.
At any rate, got home around 7. She was getting dinner ready. Offered to help, but she wanted to do it herself, so got the girls to get bathed. Easy chit-chat at dinner. After we got the girls to bed around 9, I went down to the basement. She came down and wanted to know if I wanted to watch Monk with her. We watched an episode, she fell asleep at the beginning of the next, I woke her up and off to bed she went. No hug or kiss.
Going to dance class at 7 tonight. Fox trot and swing of one sort or another. Should be fun. In the past, I would suggest playing cards together or something, but don't think that I will when I get back. I'd like to spend time with her, but part of me wants to withdraw to show her what our R will be like if we proceed with a D. The other part of me wants to ask her to play a game together or watch a movie together to show her that I am her friend and continue planting seeds of doubt. Not sure which way to go.
BD
My latest
Me: 36 W: 35 2 D: 9 and 5 T: 16 years M: 12 10/4/06: Bomb 10/5/06: Ended A 4/22/07: ILYBNILWY
) and want to be a part of it.