Donna, first things first, sit down to read this.....
I have watched as people have posted to you giving you very solid direction and giving you a map to make you feel better and start living your life without all of this fear and pain. I have set back and watched you virtually ignore it. You give solid lip service that you understand and then sometimes within hours you are doing something stupid again?
Here's the thing, some people like to suffer. They like to wallow as it deflects them having to take a good hard look at themselves if they continue to deflect onto the spouse. Not for nothing but when the hell are you gonna start caring more about yourself than you do about your H????
I for one am sick and tired of hearing about your daily conversations with him that ultimately have R talk in them. What part of quit talking do you not get? Why the hell are you doing absolutely anything for him right now. Have you ever thought about cold shouldering the living shitt out of him and sending the message that you are the one in charge and not him?
You are giving him so much power over your life that it makes me sick. I mean think logically about this sweetie. Lets do this, pretend like I am your brother, I tell you that my wife has been having at the very least an EA. I tell you how she talks to me the way your H talks to you. Then I tell you about how we are constantly talking about us and I keep asking her why, why, why..... What would you tell me?
Well thats what I am telling you, if it doesnt pertain to children or finance, dont talk to his sorry asss. If it doesnt involve kids, dont do anything for his sorry asss. If he calls you, guess what, let it go to voicemail. When he gets pissy about you avoiding him, tell him tough shitt, this is the life he has chosen, deal with it.
Donna, enough is enough. Stand up and be your own person. Take back the power in your life and quit allowing him to dictate how each day goes for you. For gods sake, he's just a man, a man that cheated on you and left, why does he deserve all this power again?????
Start listening to OT and the others around here. Do not simply give them lip service and then wander off and get right back into another R talk again. If you are sick of feeling like crap, then I highly suggest you start listening around here and figuring out that at this point in time, it is no longer him that is hurting you, it is you.
I know you can do this Donna, you just have to decide that YOU are important enough to do it for.
