HBT - Do you really want to know now about an OW? I don't. I am not snooping because I don't know if I could handle that information now. Be careful about looking at his records - you may find out information that you don't want to know or can't handle knowing right now. You have been through a lot lately - give yourself a break. I know you deserve answers - but the question is, do you really want answers....let it go for now.
As far as the finances - I think we will need to have that talk tonight too. I told him last night that we needed to work on this and that it needed to be in writing. An attorney friend of mine said that in her experience, they are better at the negotiations in the beginning. As time goes on, bitterness can develop which means more fighting over the money. But I am putting off the talk by going into work tonight. Just a little alone time to pull myself together and catch up on some paperwork.
Remember that your H doesn't see it as abandoning his committments - he sees it as escaping (from what...who knows?). You want him to see clearly - he simply can't right now.
Can you and your D go out to eat tonight - just the two of you. Leave your H a note when he gets home - do something he doesn't expect you to do? Don't be there when he gets home - it is what he expects.
