Welp, you've got all the bases covered. None of this is your fault. You can't do what you want, either because of your wife, or because of God. And you can't change, either because of your wife, or because of God.
I'm pretty certain... uhm... thinking, thinking, thinking... yes, I am definitely certain you are the very first, TRUE victim of the universe. You are to be pitied.
Ah. Well. There. I, at least, feel better that we have solved the CeMar issue.
Now what? tap, tap, tap...
How do you think the Detroit going to fair in the play-offs?
Cemar, Fran didn't say go outside your marriage, she said can you ask your wife if it is OK for you to do so. By asking, it conveys some of the seriousness of your feelings and might rock her world enough for her to realize how serious the problem is.
Decide, and then once you have decided suck it up. That's called being a grown up.
GGB is right, I did say ASK her that is the important point. And don't ask her like you don't really mean it ask her in all seriousness, just pretend like you're asking if you can have a weekend's fishing. When she raises objections be really calm about it and keeping trying to figure out why not.
Why not? You don't want me to keep bugging you Why not? You'd still be my wife Why not? Afraid your friends might find out? Why not? I won't spend any more money than I already do Why not? I'll use a condom Why not? I'm not going to get all hung up on someone Why not? It's just sex Why not? - because I'll cut your dick off - well that would be serious bodily harm I think you'll find you can get up to 10 years for that kind of thing
Let us know how it goes.
Fran
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
I want you to say the following in the mirror to yourself twice a day.
I KNOW I'VE GOT IT I KNOW YOU WANT IT I KNOW WHAT I WANT I WILL GET IT
I know, sounds exceedingly silly just looking at it on the computer screen. But if you keep saying it until you believe it, there will be changes in many parts of your life, possibly including your R.
Today while working on the sunroom addition to my house I was reminded of your sitch. I was up on the roof nailing some support boards onto the trusses so that they wouldn't come loose before we had a chance to put on the decking tomorrow morning. When I was ready to come down I realized I made a mistake, I had forgotten my work gloves. The ladder only just barely made it over the lip of the roof, so getting off required rather careful and slow navigation down the first few steps. In order to keep my balance, I had to put my hands on the hot roof. I had 3 choices at this point ...
(1) Stay on the roof indefinitely and complain about how hot it is up here (parallel to you posting time and again about how much your M stinks). (2) Try to go down the roof very quickly to prevent my hands from burning but risking more severe injury (parallel to you wanting to act like a "Deida man" without taking the necessary slow preparatory steps) (3) Go down slowly and burn my hands (parallel to you doing the hard work despite whatever pain you might feel on the way)
I'm safely on the ground right now with blistered palms, which didn't stop my from grabbing my W and planting a big one on her when I got inside, despite her protests that I was too dirty and sweaty.
Another case in point ...
When I got home from my trip yesterday, I was smooching with my W. Suddenly she breaks free and says "Oh, I forgot to feed the fishes." At this point I have two choices ...
(1) Get mad and whine saying "you weren't thinking about me while you were kissing me, you were thinking about fish?!?!?" or "you obviously have little or no desire for me if you can think about fish while we are kissing" (2) Say "WHAT!?!?! You were trying to get some sweets before your chores were done!?!? Hop to it woman!" then smack her on the a$$ and send her on her way.
Which one do you think had her hustling back to me 30 seconds later to kiss some more?
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
