My suggestion is to absolutely not push for the end of the separation. From what you've said, I don't think she'll be ready yet. But I also don't think she's ready to quit yet. So I think it's important that you do this when you speak to her: Be a blank slate. Don't think about what you're going to say at all. Let her talk and listen. I know, I know....You're already trying to plan the conversation in your head. Stop it. Have a few key things to say that will not make her feel guilty, that will not push, etc.
You can ask something like, "Is the separation helping you?"
And if she asks your opinion of the situation, you can say something like, "You already know I don't like being separated at all, and of course I don't WANT to be separated anymore. But it has given me a good chance to do some self examination. I can understand the importance of it for you. If you need more time, we'll take some more time and I'll keep working on myself."
By saying that, you're validating her feelings, you're being agreeable. And instead of coming out and saying, "I've changed!", you're telling her that you've opened your eyes to what she's seeing. It's still too early for her to believe you've "changed", so all you're doing is planting another seed.
If she seems receptive to what you're saying, but still wants to remain separated, you might ask her what she's hoping to accomplish. Be pleasant with this if you decide to ask. Make it a genuine question. If your tone of voice is wrong, she will take it wrong. If you can get it out in a cool tone, she will probably say something like, "I just need to figure out what I want." or something like that. Good. That's a chance for you to say, "I think it's important that we both have some goals. I hate to see the time wasted."
And, of course, be prepared for the worst. Don't lose your cool, should it happen to come. It's a tough situation. Just don't push or make her feel guilty. Remember that it's never too late. Keep DBing. It may have to get worse for you before it starts to get better for both of you.
