Thank you so much for the direct approach. When you put these things down, and I hope, my wife knows why I feel that way, what if she asks me, why do I feel that way, give me some examples?
I have to be careful because she has an answer for everything and puts it back on me. For example, she has told me that she hit me (although not in 5 years when I told her to stop doing that) because I make her mad. I don't make her do anything.
She did tell me that when my children hit one another, she said to me that she told the children that we don't hit in this house. My kids responded, you hit daddy. So she told them that wasn't right. This conversation took place this past January. I told her I appreciated that she did tell the children that, but help me understand why you never apologized to me for that. Then she apologizd and I thanked her for that. That is the 1st time in 20 years we are married that she apologized for her behavior.
Normally, in the past when she lost control of her temper, she would make me a special meal, do me a favor of buy me something without mentioning why she was doing that. I knew why, but I would rather have her not do that, but instead say she is sorry to me.
That was my wife's way of making up to me. But I would rather have words of affirmation then gifts like that. I've said I am sorry many times for my poor behavior and actions.
Thanks again and I expect I should get the flyer from Retrouvaille in tonight's mail. God Bless you for that. Rocco
