Almost Walked Away Wife

[Kelley]

Sandi,
I just read some of your posts from the last couple of weeks glad I stopped here. I wanted to be a WAW years ago but haven't for 2 main reasons. Before the kids, I never met an OM then I couldn't after the kids. Wasn't going out that much and still never found one.

I really know what you are talking about how hard it is for a woman to have sex when they don't feel it. This is where my and my H's M started breaking down. He wasn't giving me his quality time among other things so I just found it really hard to have sex with him and enjoy it. This is part of our woman feelings. After so long of me telling my H no or not being into it is when he finally shut down to me which was about 8 months ago and with our break down is when he started telling me that he didn't love me anymore. When this happened is when I did a 180 and wanted him back again and started once again to find him sexually attractive. In between our first and second bomb, I once again desired him and initiated sex alot in those 2 weeks. Heck we must have had as much sex in those 2 weeks as we did in the whole year before it.
Even tho he told me during the first and second bomb, that he didn't think that he loved me anymore he had no problems whatsoever having sex with me at all.

I knew that he couldn't get his love back right away but I thought if we could just try doing what we needed to do and going thru all the actions of going out and spending alone time that we could get that loving feeling again but 2 weeks into our working it out, so I thought, I found a thing he wrote about wanting to be with the OW and paying a price to be with her is when i kicked him out of the house. I still don't know if it was right to do that. He seemed to be trying in those 2 weeks but like you know had this fantasy of wanting to be with her. I don't think he really broke it off with her or what was going on because he never told me. Was it just a grieving process or was it still him wanting to have both his home and her I don't know but I do know since i kicked him out that he has been very much involved with her. If I DR and this site back then maybe I might have tried to keep home and just DB but guess we cannot second guess what happened. The sitch is what it is now and hoping H will come back.