Hi everyone,,, I am going to give this another go. Can I really keep going when he seems to pull the emergency brake when things get good? Can I keep going when he has severe mood swings? You bet your *** I can! I can do anything I put my mind to. I have power over me not him....
MY GOALS for ~Ali are these.... Stop talking the talk and start walking the walk... LOSE the weight.... I have gained over the last CRAZY year. Entails me putting my health first wether H likes it or not.... he complains about my weight evry now and again but ..... anyway I am just going to do it.
I signed up for WW ( weight watchers online) and will be very disciplined about this so that I see my success and not just dream of it.
Let go of expecting my H to love in the way I love him.... words to me are like Gold and yet he talks to me not enough and then when he has an out burst he says very cruel words. But I need to stop listening when he talks like a Mad Man. Then when the words drip out of his mouth like Syrup, even though they may be real... my Heart shuts them out.
Just really focus on me and my self esteem again. Actions speak louder than words.... all his a** kissing doesnt help when all I want is Respect and LOVE everyday. And I am grateful for having come this far and being his Wife.... I just think he needs to feel more grateful that he has me.... little does he know but he thinks he makes it all about us when really it is usually all about him.
Onward and upward... I will make it and I will get stronger and better.... I can do this just for me. I have to. When I wake up I know my life is blessed and now I need to more than ever show it and be who I am . no apolgies..... I will smile everyday even when there seems to be no reason to.
