You're right, my sitch isn't special. H does display similar behaviors that MLCrs do...depression being one, but H has been dealing with depression long before our R. I believe H has a lot of work to do on himself if he wants to have a long term, healthy R and it is going to be up to him if he realizes this and wants to put in the hard work. "Commitment" is obviously the big issue...and realizing the grass is not greener. Will H be one of those who comes to this realization? I don't know. I have talked to many people who are older and none the wiser when it comes to M. They express their unhappiness and feel like they can get something better somewhere else...it's so frustrating.

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PS: dunno if this hurts or helps, but...
"havent started R yet"? I think that having sex, counts as "started R".
I seem to recall you mentioning just a week or two ago, about him not being quite so happy with her already.

I really don't know what is going on with OW. I do know they kissed once (but I'm not stupid and I'm sure it went further at some point). H did say he is not in R with her about a month ago, but it doesn't matter because I know he still has feelings for her and as long as he is emotionally invested in her, there is no room to have feelings for me. I feel like a lot of others on here, I don't see anything when I look at him. It's sad to see such a blank look on his face and in his eyes. I don't think H has the balls to come back even if he wanted to. My H was always in defense mode throughout our R. He never felt like he did anything wrong. There were times I admit he apologized on occasion, but it felt insincere. It felt like he just did it to end an argument. Not to say that I was perfect, I was not and I will be the first to apologize and try make changes...something he was not willing to do. There were many times he would apologize for something that hurt my feelings, but would continue to do it anyway...to me, that's not a real apology.

I have little faith in him. I have little hope that he will feel for me again. I have little hope that I could ever see him the same way again. I feel sad seeing some of this reality, but this isn't my entire life. I have little hope in this sitch, but I do have hope for me because that's all I can depend on right now.