CVA - "Back in Shape"

[SunnySeason]

Wow, I feel better getting that out, where did that come from???

I am sure I have plenty more of those little ranting and raving tirades in me so stay tuned!

That's right CVA, get it all out here

Good job on not giving W the 3rd degree, I'm sure she noticed & it will keep those backrubs coming.

Sunny

[Not Much Left]

Thanks Sunny
Going to bed, later
CVA

[Gone Dancin']

Go home, usual stuff, baths, movie, backrub

I hate you



GD

[dlt1]

CVA well done! Way to hold back. Wish I were as luck as you right now. I need to go back and review where you started. Need some encouragement that my M isn't hitting the toitlet in the next few days.
Keep up the good work!

[SuperDad]

CVA,
I don't know your W's whole story, but it sounds similar to my W's. I have thought for some time that she is suffering from Depression (relatively mild), but cannot see a way in our sitch to talk to her about seeing a Dr. Maybe in your sitch this could be possible? Anyway, DR has a good intro to depression and there are other good books out there which might be a help in determining if this is a possibility (I am reading Talking to Depression by Claudia Strauss).

Otherwise, keep up the DBing and watching for those baby steps!

SD

[Not Much Left]

Thanks for the support everyone!
GD - not mad at me really are you? Just trying to keep my own PMA up by citing I got something positive!
SD - you think she is depressed by my description? I have always sort of suspected something to that effect, tired a lot, but always just chalked it up to being a different type person, laid back, no rush really to do anything. When she worked out a lot, I always liked the way she treated me better. Yes she was tired from working out, but she just seemed happier in general. I know a thing or two about depression, hopefully Nomo can attest to the fact that I dont "look" depressed! I feel great!

Dlt1 - hey, thanks for following along my crazy ride. I dont know if I am doing anything right quite frankly. I know there is always an outcome I may not like so I just am trying to focus on each day.

This weekend will be good. I am actually looking forward to it! For those of you interested, do you remember me saying that before? I dont. Healthier? I would guess I am.

Expect the best, it may happen!

CVA

[waw1978]

Still amazing to me that the most important job in the world does not fulfill women (being a mom) and they need more.

CVA

I have to pipe in here. As a Mom with a career I can honestly say that for some women, the Mom thing alone, really isn't that fulfilling. For me and quite a few other women, motherhood does not define me. Its one role that I have in life. Yes, its my most important role but not the only one. I stayed home for two years with my D and just worked part time nights. Boy was that enough! I had the cleanest house on the block, suppers made every night, running a household does require effort don't get me wrong, but its all routine...nothing new. I was devoid of any real intellectual stimulation. For the record I am jealous of those women who are satisfied just being a Mom and staying at home. Plus there is all of these "traditional thinkers" that think a woman's place is in the home...but it isn't for all of us. Some of us do need a little more to feel worth and be validated as a person.

Try to have an open mind about your Wife's volunteering. It may be exactly what she needs to feel valued. If she feels like she is contributing and being valued for her efforst it will boost her self esteem...can only mean positive things for CVA down the road. Esp if one of her complaints is that she "lost herself" in being a wife and mother.

just my nickels worth

[Not Much Left]

WAW
Sorry, I actually meant the volunteering thing in a positive way. She ran an auction process for our school and I have never seen her so happy about who she is. I am all for it!

Just on the mom thing, it was stage of life issue for me. I always expected her to want to do something different after the kids got to a certain age.

Basically, it was my criticalness of what she did do even though I loved she was doing it, I was in "selfish mode" and would say stupid stuff about how much time it took away from me and kids. I KNOW SHE RESENTS ME FOR THIS. But again, if we can get to a place where she will listen to me, I actually do want her to do this for her because I have never seen her so fulfilled.

[Nomopo]

I know a thing or two about depression, hopefully Nomo can attest to the fact that I dont "look" depressed! I feel great!

Yes, you seemed great to me. Intense and stressed about your sitch, like most of us (me included), but not depressed, high energy, physically fit - rather healthy in light of your sitch and also recent medical problems. Keep it up CVA!

[Nomopo]

WAW,

I have to pipe in here. As a Mom with a career I can honestly say that for some women, the Mom thing alone, really isn't that fulfilling. For me and quite a few other women, motherhood does not define me. Its one role that I have in life. Yes, its my most important role but not the only one. I stayed home for two years with my D and just worked part time nights. Boy was that enough! I had the cleanest house on the block, suppers made every night, running a household does require effort don't get me wrong, but its all routine...nothing new. I was devoid of any real intellectual stimulation. [. . .] Some of us do need a little more to feel worth and be validated as a person.

My W is right there with you, and actually that is a BIG part of why I fell in love with her. It was very attractive to me, and still is I think, but I have been shaken by the fact that she met OM through her career (I know I have to get over that) and I am also scared a little (for the first time) of her (growing) independence (I know I have to deal with that too).

Just wanted to chime in on your post because it rang true for my W too.

Nomo