L - she may be trying to get a reaction out of you. If you lose it, yell, whatever, you may confirm for her why she is thinking of leaving you. Decide what reaction the ideal L would have, and then make it happen.
I'm sorry about the OM and your kids stuff. That is tough. But you have to accept you cannot control it. If you get a D, and she sees someone else (or marries someone else), they will be in your kids lives. You have to accept it, hard as it is, now decide how you want to handle it for you and your kids' best interests.
Hang in there L, Nomo
M 39 W 39 M'd 10 yrs; T 14 yrs S7 D4 Bomb 5-8-05 W not working on M 1-22-07; EA 2-22 DB 4-10 S 6-11 No more C Link
