Making the Move

[RedHeadWife]

I have to totally agree w/ your IC. Think about how much power you would take back FOR YOU if you looked her in the eye and talked to her about the kids, the weather, whatever and knew that she knew what she had done w/ your H and how wrong that was, but you are strong enough and self-assured enough to face her. You now have H back and that's what matters. You need to show that you are the bigger person here.

I can't really give you any other advice on how I finally quit "dwelling" on the OW. It did take awhile, however, I guess it has a lot to do w/ the trust we re-build for our H. The fact that I knew I would be strong enough that if it did happen again, he would get a HUGE BOOT and I'm pretty sure he knew it couldn't happen again either. It does take time though. It's a grieving process we go through when our H has an A, whether EA or PA.

I think your sitch that led up to the EA, etc. sounds a lot like mine and millions of others. Our H's just don't realize, and I guess we didn't realize back then, how often this happens. We end up putting our H and our M on the backburner while dealing w/ everything else when we need to be making sure we are putting in the effort it takes to keep our M alive. I didn't realize how much I was missing by not making sure the intimacy, closeness, etc. was still there for my H and I. Glad we got a 2nd chance to make it right.