there would have been more of a chance of saving my marriage
Mojo, you keep slipping in these little comments, "If I could have done/been [this or that], then there might have been a chance of saving my marriage."
From over here (and I think I speak for everyone, except possibly cobra and fearless who always seem to have a counter-opinion) that you did EVERYTHING possible to be/do whatever seemed necessary to save the marriage up to and occasionally including doing emotional harm to yourself.
I don't believe your marriage was save-able as long as your H refused to meet you at least halfway. And no one could have made him do this unless he wanted to.
