The ex arrived Sunday night and we had a nice dinner with lots of conversation. This is where things stand at the moment.
She said that she loves me but she wants to make absolutely certain that this is what she wants and if we do this, will things be different enough that she will be happy? She doesn't want to disappoint me or our son by moving too fast. She says her goal is to find a job and a place to live in my town and go from there. Move slowly and see where it leads. She doesn't want any closeness or to give any affection. She just wants to hang out. She said it is with me and our son that she feels safe and secure.
We were sharing some rather soft and touching sentiments when instinctively, I kissed her. She started to cry and when I asked what was wrong, she said she didn't know. She said it wasn't tears of sadness but she just didn't know what she was feeling.
She isn't willing to commit to a "do what it takes" approach. She has repeatedly indicated that moving is her first goal. She said moving in with me is not an option as she would be uncomfortable with that.
My personal feelings on the matter is this. She continues to lead her life in her town with OM. I suspect she sees moving as a natural way to end things with him and then start fresh here exploring putting her family together. She is firm that she wants to do that but she seems to be stuck on not exploring a connection with me until she is physically present in the same area.
I'm not sure how to proceed. Do I take a stance that the train is leaving and she is welcome to get on board now and kick the OM to the curb? Do I continue to exercise patience and allow her to make the move and see what happens? I suppose I'm wondering why do we have to wait until she is physically here to start exploring if she is willing to make a committment to trying.
