Hey Hope, Glad you had a fun trip. It does wonders for a soul, doesn't it? Just wanted to say I was thinking of you. I wish I could offer you advice on D, but I'm not that far along.
Yoyo
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Mike, ROFL....How much do you get for that endorsement?
Hope,
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I hope another man can see me as a great woman...not a divorced woman with a H that left her for OW.
Someone will see you for who you really are and love every bit of you. Remember your biggest problem is going to be gently letting down all the guys that have no chance with you.
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Your D5 would be able to see it...
Even though this is an obvious one, she is smart and Yes she would ask him Why are you still not with Hope? are you goofy?
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Not to toot my own horn, but I think the same. I have taken this time to learn about myself and become a stronger, better person...all he's done is sink.
Toot away.....That is the wonderful thing about DBing, you start off trying to save you M then you figureout this is about you growing and becoming a stronger person. I believe most on this site should be giving themselves a nice pat on the back. I know I am now more aware of my surroundings and how I want to interact in it. I also am learning what I really want and how I deserve to be treated.
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No Chicago guys (homeless or not) tried to pick me up. Maybe that will all come in good time when I am ready.
What will come in good time? Homeless guys picking you up or guys from Chicago or guys in general...
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Scott, in your wife's D petition, did it list out your assets?
No, it did not. It just asked the court for a fair distribution of assets.
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I think all is ok because the judgment lists everything out and that is the last step...it just seems like things are being done out of order.
You are a smart girl, I think you can trust yourself. If you believe this is all on the up and up(as much as a D can be) then I would say do what you have to do to make it as smooth and easy on you as possible.
There was a Japanese maiden with a broken heart who could see no future for herself. The village elders told her to go to the north to see the great Fortune Teller, or Seer, who lived in a tower by a lake.
She travelled north and found the Seer's Tower, and climbed to the top. She found the wise man and said:
"I have come to rearn my future. Will I ever rove again? Will I have a famiry?"
Yoyo, Thanks for thinking of me. I am thinking of you too. I think our H's are very similar guys...maybe it's the personality. Next time we are going for the nice guys.
Scott,
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What will come in good time? Homeless guys picking you up or guys from Chicago or guys in general...
Guys in general and maybe guys from Chicago. I am not ruling anything out at this point....except for the homeless guys. I will be looking for a nice, great guy. I'm keeping all my options open...who knows where I will end up in a couple of years.
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No, it did not. It just asked the court for a fair distribution of assets.
Okay, that is what H's said too. Some stuff I read made it sound like the assets were supposed to be listed. The Judgment of Dissolution that I signed listed out the asset distribution. Have you seen a document with your asset distribution? Was it a settlement agreement?
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You are a smart girl, I think you can trust yourself. If you believe this is all on the up and up(as much as a D can be) then I would say do what you have to do to make it as smooth and easy on you as possible.
I believe it is on the up and up. The smoothest way is to sign the waiver...signing away all my rights but the Judgment that I signed is correct. H said he would notify me when the court date is. I won't have to attend but I think I need to.
I actually think I read that story in my D's Mother Goose book. Thanks for the laugh.
Hope,
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I'm keeping all my options open...who knows where I will end up in a couple of years.
I understand what you mean. I am actually looking forward to what might be in front of me. Who knows: who, what, where.....
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Have you seen a document with your asset distribution? Was it a settlement agreement?
Nothing yet from our L's. We have been trying to work this out between the two of us, but as you have read we are not always in agreement on everything. I am really hoping that we can settle everything without our L's involvement and have them write it up to submit to the courts. I actually feel this is still a possibility.
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H said he would notify me when the court date is. I won't have to attend but I think I need to.
If this is what you need to do to close out this chapter of your life then do it, then don't look back. You have bigger and better things ahead of you.
Okay, I got the Entry of Appearance, Waiver and Consent Form notarized and mailed to H's attorney today. That's it then...it's all over. H's attorney will soon have all three documents that he needs from me to finish out this divorce without me being involved anymore. Is it really this easy to end a marriage? It's sad, but I think it is. For as much drama as I have been through over the last 10 months, I can only hope that his D process is uneventful. All I want is my house, car, and 401k and the judgment that I signed states all of that, so I think I will be fine.
It's really hot here today, but I am going to go walk my dog. Maybe that will take my mind off of this for a little while.
Scott,
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I am actually looking forward to what might be in front of me. Who knows: who, what, where.....
Me too. I am looking forward to the day when I feel loved and wanted again.
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I am really hoping that we can settle everything without our L's involvement and have them write it up to submit to the courts. I actually feel this is still a possibility.
I hope you can avoid the lawyers as much as possible. So far it seems that mine will be over in a month or two. Dare I say that the D process was very uneventful given this soap opera that I am living in.
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If this is what you need to do to close out this chapter of your life then do it, then don't look back. You have bigger and better things ahead of you.
I think that I need to attend court for myself to close this chapter...then, it's on to better things. There aren't any could-of's, would-of's, should-of's from my side...I did everything I could to same my marriage and that is why I can hold my head high and as long as I continue to be a good person...I think God will take care of me.
Is it really this easy to end a marriage? It's sad, but I think it is.
It truly is sad that people are allowed to dispose of the vows and commitments they make so easily. There is no accountability with no-fault D.
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There aren't any could-of's, would-of's, should-of's from my side...I did everything I could to same my marriage and that is why I can hold my head high and as long as I continue to be a good person..
That is all that you could have asked from yourself. You did the best you could during your M and then in the end to save your M. You have no reason to dwell on would-of, could-of, should-of in your M. Like you said "it's on to better things".
