please help with advice, new here, H in mlc

[HBT]

God I am so devastated. H told me of his specific plans to leave-this sat. I am at a loss how he can do this to me or our kids. He keeps telling me that 'I' brought us here and I should be able to understand! It is just too hard for me to control my emotions. I know thats what I'm suppose to do, but I cried again. The rejection is overwhelming and my body can't be fooled right now. How do I watch the person I love the most pack his things and leave me behind???