If not, and it might not be proper DBing, but it sounds like she sniffed around like she wanted to come home but you slapped her on the nose with a rolled up newspaper. I'm guessing she doesn't know what the hell she wants at the moment.
Perhaps I did, but I really tried not to. I know she doesn't know what she wants, but the highly defensive presentation she made really sounded like she expects to live here, continue not giving a crap about anyone, treating me and my son like dirt, continuing her affair(s), and spending like a poet on payday. How could I possibly resist such a wonderful offer? Anyway, I did not say no, I just said I would think about it.
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You're W needs to make some changes. But there's a lot of he said/she said with W, MIL, SFIL, and you. If you're not done, and I can't tell if you are or aren't, honestly, reaching out a hand to her right now might be worth it. You'll be nowhere close to being fixed, but maybe if you two have an honest discussion with each other, you may start the process.
Honest discussions are what brought me here. When she was pregnant with S, we were car pooling together every morning. Indisputably, I was very concerned that we were not close enough, that she would not open up to me, and that this would cause us problems after our child was born. I was concerned about money, extramarital affairs, teamwork in child rearing. And, of course, I was right (not that anyone really cares). What I didn't know, and really couldn't know, was that she hated me every moment, went to work, took a luch break, and cried for an hour. Never once told me her side. Maybe I never let her, I don't know, but honest discussions have a very poor track record for us, IMO.
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Of course, if you're doing that, you're accepting the risk that she is just manipulating you because she's going to have to start paying 'rent' or whatever (nice folks, your in-laws) or is just confused.
No clue what the right answer is, but hope that helps, at least a little.
BD
A little, yes. Thank you.
I've just hatched a couple of plans, mostly from desperation. Plan 1: Claim that "something came up" for Friday, and aske her to bring S over on Saturday. This would screw up her Friday departure, but would not keep her from going (I honestly beleive she is pathetic enough to spend as little as 10 hours in OM's city, just to make sure I would find out and be hurt by it, even though I think I've been kind of convinving in the "I don't care" department). Plan 2: Casually offer that she can come back during whatever contact we have tomorrow. No strings, no discussion, just the welcome mat. Unfortunately, this causes some really problems for me: Weekend before last, she decided she would rather be with OM than my son and I. She has been gone for several months, and we weren't getting along for a very long time before that. Also, she is just plain out of her tiny little mind.
