My poor other dog (who constantly ran Tasha down) is missing her. She runs in the room to Tasha's corner in the bedroom and then just crawls under the bed.
I did pick up a chicken and rooster yesterday! The people had them in a residental area and couldn't keep them so I volunteered. The rooster is a bity thing but can he crow!! hehehehehe - H should take lessons from him, maybe he wouldn't be invisiman if he did!
I bought DD school books today...$337 and then I got the bill for next session of crew and the trip to Portland (which I am sure DD will want to go on) for a crew total of $600. Plus, DD's 16th bday is next month and I still have to pay $350 for driving lessons sometime. I want to make her bday special and I know what she wants to do (go to Vegas with 3 friends and see "Tony and Tina's Wedding") but it is not looking good. I kept thinking of all this on the drive back to work and getting madder and madder. I know H will ignore me if I even ask him for his share. He didn't even respond to DD's email for Father's Day. Why even admit he gots a kid! He's out running around screwing whoever and partying!? I want to scream - how can I be expected to pay for everything and he gets off scott free. He thinks the $450 a month covers everything I bet and how wonderful he is doing that <gag>. It goes toward school tuition. This year I get $100 of it <yippee> because I begged and they reduced the tuition to $350 but it goes toward DD's insurance and ADD drug so I still have not enough help from him. I know other's are in worse shape than me and I have savings (thank you AUNT!!!) but I didn't sign up to parent alone!!! <needed to get it out in writing> <stomping feet and screaming> Now, back to happy thoughts of chicken and rooster. <sigh>
Sitting quietly doing nothing, the flowers bloom effortlessly.
bomb: Jan 25, 2006 not seen since DD moved in with H - 9/1/08 H filed for divorce - 11/2008 Divorce dismissed by courts - 4/2010 still nothing
Well I shouldn't go snooping but I found a piece of H on the Internet. Yahoo answers had a question by one of the emails he uses (a name with his birthday). It was asking about lap dances in Vegas and was posted about 3 months ago. I am guessing he went there for his bday. The planning would have been right for it. His bday was Aug. 6. <sigh>
Guess, he is still deep into sexual satisfication and running around. No wonder he is in no contact.
Sitting quietly doing nothing, the flowers bloom effortlessly.
bomb: Jan 25, 2006 not seen since DD moved in with H - 9/1/08 H filed for divorce - 11/2008 Divorce dismissed by courts - 4/2010 still nothing
I am soooo sorry. I hate the thought of when we will have to do it with our dogs. D15 said she does not want to give our dogs to the vet when they die. She said she would bury them in the back yard and I told her that our dogs were too big for that.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Well I shouldn't go snooping but I found a piece of H on the Internet. Yahoo answers had a question by one of the emails he uses (a name with his birthday). It was asking about lap dances in Vegas and was posted about 3 months ago. I am guessing he went there for his bday. The planning would have been right for it. His bday was Aug. 6. <sigh>
Guess, he is still deep into sexual satisfication and running around. No wonder he is in no contact.
I am sorry to hear this but they sure do things while in MLC they would not normally do.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
My poor other dog (who constantly ran Tasha down) is missing her. She runs in the room to Tasha's corner in the bedroom and then just crawls under the bed.
I did pick up a chicken and rooster yesterday! The people had them in a residental area and couldn't keep them so I volunteered. The rooster is a bity thing but can he crow!! hehehehehe - H should take lessons from him, maybe he wouldn't be invisiman if he did!
I bought DD school books today...$337 and then I got the bill for next session of crew and the trip to Portland (which I am sure DD will want to go on) for a crew total of $600. Plus, DD's 16th bday is next month and I still have to pay $350 for driving lessons sometime. I want to make her bday special and I know what she wants to do (go to Vegas with 3 friends and see "Tony and Tina's Wedding") but it is not looking good. I kept thinking of all this on the drive back to work and getting madder and madder. I know H will ignore me if I even ask him for his share. He didn't even respond to DD's email for Father's Day. Why even admit he gots a kid! He's out running around screwing whoever and partying!? I want to scream - how can I be expected to pay for everything and he gets off scott free. He thinks the $450 a month covers everything I bet and how wonderful he is doing that <gag>. It goes toward school tuition. This year I get $100 of it <yippee> because I begged and they reduced the tuition to $350 but it goes toward DD's insurance and ADD drug so I still have not enough help from him. I know other's are in worse shape than me and I have savings (thank you AUNT!!!) but I didn't sign up to parent alone!!! <needed to get it out in writing> <stomping feet and screaming> Now, back to happy thoughts of chicken and rooster. <sigh>
I am wondering if the school will give you a break in light of your situation. I know the private school my kids attend would not hesitate to help someone in need and your daughter's school might do the same.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Thinking of you and always keeping up with your posts. We are good women and have stood for a long, long time.
What are you doing for yourself....you are so bright and intelligent....I am considering getting into our local theater and doing a little acting...it is so much fun. I could see you involved in this type of thing. Behind the scenes with research, doing props, etc. There is so much to do...You have so much to offer with your background.
Get involved and you will reach a level of fulfillment that will be unmatched. Forget about the lap dancing. After all, aren't you SOOOOO above that.
hehehehehe Mickey - well I was thinking of doing pole dancing! You would have a ball acting. I haven't tried that yet but did do the witch thing for the library and am going to do some more if they ask. I do archery for 2 hours a week and love it. If you haven't tried if, it has a real zen quality to it. Besides you can always use different targets <g>.
Wonderful to hear from you Steelers!! The school gives me a big tuition break otherwise I would really be up a creek and DD can make some points toward her crew expenses soon. Actually, when I get over the sticker shock and give it to God, I am not doing too bad money wise. I use the weed wacker to clip the backyard because the lawn mower broke but still...I have a weed wacker and it gets done!
BTW, my rooster hates purple boots. I almost fell down laughing when this itty bitty thing attacked them! I am hoping I can keep them safe from the feral cats around the area.
I am trying to figure out why I should even care about H. It not like it hasn't been almost 2 years. It is pathetic in a way. I think there is more than MLC going on here. He is severely damaged to not contact anyone. I do have a good life without him. I could D him but I am not sure what I would gain. It wouldn't change my life. I would be "free" - whatever that entails but I still would be too busy and wouldn't be doing anything I don't do now. Another guy in my life would be nice but I already have one, kind of....old friend who is 13 years older than me but in good shape, knows the stitch but calls and takes me out when he is in town (lives about 4 hours away). He wasn't "the one" when I was lots younger and not married though and I guess not now. Besides, I am dependent on no one to be my happiness. I will be my own and until I find it, then I shouldn't have someone in it.
Someone asked me the question: What would make me happy? I believe I am happy but when the hormones tip (like I believe they are now) I go emotional bananas. Plus, putting my dog down and DD being gone to camp doesn't help. I have plenty of friends, do anything I want to do, planning some wonderful future stuff.
Just wish, as I always do, that someone will tell me the right thing to do.....wait or D. Guess since nothing is definite, I should wait until it is. As far as being happy goes.....a little fairy dust?
Sitting quietly doing nothing, the flowers bloom effortlessly.
bomb: Jan 25, 2006 not seen since DD moved in with H - 9/1/08 H filed for divorce - 11/2008 Divorce dismissed by courts - 4/2010 still nothing
I was thinking the other day that I am actually scared to see H. Scared that the rollercoasterI am on would be bigger (that I put myself on now), scared that he would totally reject me (not that he hasn't). I think I am starting to internalize the "I can't do anything for/to him". Maybe? I don't want contact with him but I do want to know he still there. Does that make sense? I was trying to remember the "before M me". Guys would pass through my life. If they stayed that was ok, if they went that was ok. I didn't mind/weep worry (or at least seem to). How do I get back to that non caring? Is H totally gone and there is no hope? I guess that is my biggest worry. I don't mind waiting, if there is hope. I keep reminding myself the 3 good things: 1)he isn't going for D 2)he doesn't contact anyone else (parents, etc) 3)I really believes that he loves me (I want to count the flowers but I believe they will stop next year as he moves deeper into the tunnel). Am I a fool?
Sitting quietly doing nothing, the flowers bloom effortlessly.
bomb: Jan 25, 2006 not seen since DD moved in with H - 9/1/08 H filed for divorce - 11/2008 Divorce dismissed by courts - 4/2010 still nothing
I have also learned to never go after, or pursue, a person who is fleeing. After all, their lizard already is running from “imagine death.” This is why stalking doesn’t work. Note: when someone pulls away from you, in panic, give them an assist. Help them get away. They will come back all the quicker. Since it was typical of me to pursue my partner, I put up a sign at home. “You will never get love by chasing a lizard!” The sign helped me.
Sitting quietly doing nothing, the flowers bloom effortlessly.
bomb: Jan 25, 2006 not seen since DD moved in with H - 9/1/08 H filed for divorce - 11/2008 Divorce dismissed by courts - 4/2010 still nothing
