hey hey. Chin up. Thats the best way to live. Yeah I know it is hard. But today is all we can live right now anyhow. I wish I could find the way to just live in today, quit worrying about what I cannot control. Or about how I messed up yesterday. Take care!
Hey guys, just a little update! Just got a text from the H, nothing too exciting, just the typical, whats up! But it made me happy, especially since he just got home from a trip, and he's texting me...maybe since it was to one of our old vacationing spots (a river we used to canoe every summer) it made it remember..just a little!! It was rather crazy while I was thinking about all of this, and thinking I just need more than this...a little voice came on in my head and said...this is all he is capable of now...is that crazy or what?? These texts are what I hang all the hope of the world on...and it is a start, it is better than nothing, and I am praying it is a start to something more. I'm just still a little weirded out by the little voice saying that to me. ok, done rambling now!! hope all is well with everyone else hugs, Christa
H-32 Me-29 T-10years M-4yr (10/04) Me- WAW 1/07 I filed for D 2/07 D put on hold 5/07 H re-files for D 9/08 WOW! trying MC 10/08
"Work like you don't need the money, dance like nobody is watching, love like you've never been hurt!"
Hey christarn ....... its something. What you were saying about voices made me remember a tee shirt I saw some guy wearing the other day, it said: "I hear voices. They dont like you!" I had to laugh outloud when I saw that.
So, it's rather strange to me...the H has text me the past 3, yes 3 nights...don't know what to make of this. He never wants anything...just to see what's up, and some small talk. I know that I should be viewing this as a positive...I just had a hugely intensive session today with my IC, and it's just got me doubting so many things...more thoughts to mull over...just what I needed.
H-32 Me-29 T-10years M-4yr (10/04) Me- WAW 1/07 I filed for D 2/07 D put on hold 5/07 H re-files for D 9/08 WOW! trying MC 10/08
"Work like you don't need the money, dance like nobody is watching, love like you've never been hurt!"
It sounds to me like H is thinking about you more and more, and what could be more and more. He wouldn't be texting you multiple nights in a row just to talk if he wasn't. That to me alone is huge for you and your sitch! That is a big baby step in my book.
Quote:
I just had a hugely intensive session today with my IC, and it's just got me doubting so many things
Like what? Can you got into why it was so intensive and why it has had what I interpret to be a negative experience for you? Are you sure this is the kind of C you want to be seeing? Are they a solutions-based type of C?
No she is not solution based...how do you find solution based couns? I've been seeing her since before H and I split...she reminded me of why I left and just all sorts of stuff yesterday...and if he is dating does he really want to fix our M, itwas just so emotional...and then with him texting yesterday, it just was so confusing...he's already texting this morning. Said he would like to stop by...which is awesome. Unless he gets called out to work. My emotions and mind are really playing some evil tricks on me right now...I know in my heart I want this to work...I just have what my Couns said replaying in my head...do you really want a man with all of these character flaws (someone who would continue to date while your married...along with all of your previous problems)for the rest of your life...oh my gosh just when I think I have this figured out...she laid that one on me!! I believe, with hard work things can change...or at least I hope they can!!
H-32 Me-29 T-10years M-4yr (10/04) Me- WAW 1/07 I filed for D 2/07 D put on hold 5/07 H re-files for D 9/08 WOW! trying MC 10/08
"Work like you don't need the money, dance like nobody is watching, love like you've never been hurt!"
Just trying to catch up on your sitch. How are you doing? Just hang in there. Things are looking good for you. The text messages and asking to stop by are very positive things for you. PMA and GAL works. Try it to get your mind off of your sitch and eliminate those crazy thoughts.
Good luck!
Me: 40 W: 39 D12 D9 D6 ILYBNILWY: 06/15/07 "We can work things out": 06/21/07 Currently: Still together, DB'ing every day
so the H started texting at 745 this morning...wow, long story short, he said we needed to talk....got my work schedule rearranged...we are meeting in about 20 minutes at a local pub...where it all began, me saying lets work on this...haven't seen in a month...oh my gosh am i a nervous wreck! I am totally fearing the unknown...what does he want to talk about...driving me up a tree...so i am off...will keep you posted..thanks for reading guys, and helping me out!! Would not know what to do without ya'll!! hugs, christa
H-32 Me-29 T-10years M-4yr (10/04) Me- WAW 1/07 I filed for D 2/07 D put on hold 5/07 H re-files for D 9/08 WOW! trying MC 10/08
"Work like you don't need the money, dance like nobody is watching, love like you've never been hurt!"
hugs, Christa