Schnarch & Self-validation/ Answer to Cobra

[fearless]

Fearless:
My XH's main/only? complaint leading up to the beginning of the affair was that I was not "happy" enough. Odd because I didn't feel unhappy at all except for not liking my job. The more I insisted I was not unhappy the more he pushed that I was. Obvious projection now that I understand it.

Mojo:
It seems to me that he was either being dishonest with himself or dishonest with you but I don't know how you could ever tell the difference. My 2bx once told me that I didn't act like a woman who wanted sex. Probably the same sort of obvious projection.

I'm not following you. You think he had other problems with me? He now says that looking back I was a great wife (I think I was overall) and that his issue was his own unhappiness. We weren't perfect people or a perfect couple but we were good together. We liked each other and had fun together. Our friends used to laugh at us because we were always doing things together.

Now while saying I wasn't happy enough might sound minor but it was a BIG issue for him and he brought it up a lot. And my frustration with my job was very bothersome to him but he didn't like any of my ways of handling it either.

Anyway, I was just curious of what you thought he was dishonest about...