Regarding irresistible qualities in the opposite sex. Corri asked what is the irresistible quality she sees in this tv guy. I don’t know, but I’d like to address irresistible qualities in women.
At a place where I worked about 30 years ago there was a woman volunteer who was absolutely irresistible to men. By this I mean that at any gathering where there were men, she was always at the center of the group. My girlfriend and I were mystified by this, probably because we were not men.
This woman, I’ll call her Jane, was NOT physically attractive. She was skinny (not in a good way—very lanky and bony); her skin was lined from years in the sun (she was about 45 when I knew her), and she was one of those people who wore bright blue eye shadow and her lipstick always bled outside her lip line. Her clothes were not particularly flattering--- polyester as they only made in the 70’s. Oh, and she wasn’t too smart either.
But men adored her.
I think I finally figured out why, and someone alluded to it a ways back: men (and women, too) just felt terrific in her presence. She was happy, upbeat, a great listener, had a great sense of humor (a bit bawdy), free with compliments, and had a huge, loving heart. She wasn’t a doormat by any means, but she was emotionally generous and easy to connect to. It was also clear that she was very physically open… she was very sexy in an earthy, unself-conscious, jolly (cf. Mojo), easygoing way.
There was a guy who worked with us who was very unconventional. He was a Chicano (is that term still p.c.?), had a chip on his shoulder, talked tough, had a couple of children by his girlfriend (back before out of wedlock kids were so mainstream), wore a bandanna on his head, drove an old Camaro with the floor on the front passenger side full of empty beer cans. When they reached the level of the seat, he’d throw them out.
Anyway, my girlfriend and I thought he would be immune to her charms. Surely a middle-aged, polyester-clad woman with lipstick all over her face wouldn’t appeal to him. We took him to a picnic where we knew she would be. Like all the other men he (along with my girlfriend’s husband) just flocked to her like a moths to a flame.
When our Chicano friend went over to the beer, we joined him and he said, “Wow! That Jane is really something!”
“What is it about her?” we asked.
He looked puzzled. “I don’t know. She’s just really cool, lots of fun, easy to talk to.”
Jane was very happily married for many years and when her husband died of cancer, of course she was devastated. I knew her husband (I had a mad crush on him), and I asked him what was the secret to a happy marriage. He was in the Air Force and had traveled a lot. He said, “A strong commitment, great sex, and frequent separations.”
I went over to her house one time and she showed me something that her husband had had made for her for their anniversary. She kept it in the closet hanging on the wall. The reason will become obvious in a minute. The plaque read: “To my lovely wife Jane, for 16 years of wonderful—“ and then vertically it listed, “Friendship, Understanding, Cheerfulness, Kindness, Inspiration, Niceness, Generosity.”
Do you see why it was in the closet?
I don’t know if this story can be flipped over to the male side to answer Corri’s question or not.
