His problem was his inability to keep his c*ck in his pants.
Absolutely that was completely his fault. Just as blaming me for his unhappiness was completely his fault. Without the OW he still might have left me but the OW definitely complicated things. Without going into it too much she was the one who pursued and played all the games just right. If she had done this 5 years before, he would not have been susceptible. BUT that's no excuse because you aren't "allowed" to have an affair if you're unhappy but not allowed if you are happy. An affair is WRONG period.
Cemar might be surprised that I naturally did the things that Dr. Laura suggests. My XH's main/only? complaint leading up to the beginning of the affair was that I was not "happy" enough. Odd because I didn't feel unhappy at all except for not liking my job. The more I insisted I was not unhappy the more he pushed that I was. Obvious projection now that I understand it.
Anyway, I don't know how helpful all the details are anyway other than to say that I didn't choose to leave my XH.
But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? ~Albert Camus
