Mike, not sure what I want to do--I am happy to be going away for the week, and getting away from this. I am sending a copy to my C, and it felt good to just get it out there, a brain dump.
I forgot to add: I've heard that CW's H wants the house and kids if she doesn't try C...so, I guess you find it ok to contune the damage to both families, and let CW abandon her own children for your "love"...
Also: You thought that you had too much responsibility here. Now, you are going into a family with a 14-year-old who is allowed to dress and wear make-up like a slut, has been pressured to give her boyfriend a blow job last year (at 13), and cuts herself so she can feel something. Remember when CW slapped her and threw her out of the house? The 8-year-old is in therapy, as well, and still won't sleep alone (stays with her daddy). The 6-year-old is called Sybil by her own mother, with wild mood swings, sullen and manipulative (like all of them). And the 4-year-old soaks it all up, pitching her own fits and making her own demands. All of them are overly clingy and dependent, with no idea of proper boundaries and rules between themselves, for themselves, and with adults. I wonder how they all got so screwed up...CW gets flustered with them all (is she still in therapy, too?), and tells them that "they" are coming to get them when they hear sirens...and laughs at their terror. A real up-standing family you'll have.
And: I remember the times when I have needed you, recently, and you refused to be there. Forgetting to build the casket for our dog, who we adopted on our honeymoon and I had to put to sleep. Then letting CW's kids hover while we buried her in the yard, until I yelled at them to go home. Letting me go into major surgery without saying I love you (I guess it wouldn't have been honest, but it hurt so much). You also supposedly started your physical affair the same month--was it while I was in the hospital? Or downstairs so you could have the bed for your back, looking at all of the pain pills and wondering if I should just make my pain stop forever?
Sara, I worried about me, too. What a scary thought. I wish you could have known him when we wasn't crazy...
