I need help fixing my marriage. I can't do it by myself.
cac and I both need help hearing each other. I know he doesn't always hear what I'm saying to him and I'm sure I don't always hear what he says. There is a lot of misinterpretation and miscommunications and putting words into each other's mouths.
I'd like to either tape record our talks about our R or do them in writing so everything that we say is documented. There has been a lot of "I didn't say that" or "I said that" on both our parts and it just comes down to he said/she said. We never really solve these things. One of us just sucks it up and throws it onto the resentment pile. Actually I think we both suck it up. Neither of us gets any satisfaction. I think it might help to be able to go back and say "here is what I (or you said). what did you hear or what did you mean?"
Usually it's me bringing up things that have upset me, like something cac did or said. I don't feel like I get any satisfaction, typically, so I leave the conversation/argument doubting whether my feelings have any validity. It makes me question whether or not it is worth it to voice any grievances. Sometimes I wish I could just suppress my emotions. Might make things easier. But, no, I have to go and *feel* things and upset the apple cart. Being sensitive really sucks sometimes.
