CVA - yes that does totally make sense. That is one of my goals throughout this whole process is just to make sure that I be the best person I can be & to show him everyday how I hear everything that he has said and how I have changed the things that I could change. That is the only way I feel as though I will be able to look back at this situation and not have regrets as to how I have handled it. I also think whether or not he even realizes how well I am handling this right now - at some point in the future he will realize that I accepted the way he was feeling, that I agreed with my areas of weakness, that I did everything I could to try to change those things and fight for our marriage, and that I did not argue with him, say mean things back to him or get defensive with him.
Not an ex yet - No worries - hijack away - that is what is so great about these boards is sharing experiences. It is interesting how our stories are so similar - I will check for your threads. Where is your husband living? Do you go on dates with him? Is that when you are able to initiate? We are not even at a point where we are touching etc. so I could not imagine him being OK with me trying to initiate that right now - I think he would get angry. Maybe if I got him really drunk (have though about that) - but then it wouldn't work anyway
Whatsyourpoint - I see what you are saying about "whose needs are being met". I have learned that I am very good at focusing on my own!!! Too good! I need to learn better on focusing on his as well and learning exactly what they are.
I have my 2nd therapy appt tonight with the new therapist. Actually looking forward to it...
