Need advice on WAW with OM

[svejk]

I am thinking of sending this to my wife. Any opinions?

Wife,

I am hesitant to talk to you about this subject because I am afraid it will end our relationship. I have no problem giving you all the time and space you need to figure out what you want. But I know that you are seeing this guy again, and that's what I can't handle.

I think you are lonely and that's the only reason you are lowering yourself to be with this guy. As a friend I am telling you that you are so much better than this and you don't need him in your life just so you aren't alone. Even if things never work out between us would you still want a long term thing with him? Don't lower yourself to that level just because you are lonely, you deserve so much more. I know you are a stronger and better person than that. I know enough about this guy to know that he has no business being with you. You could do a million times better, and I think your friends that know him would agree with me.

I don't need to tell you how I feel about you because you already know that I love you unconditionally. Even though it hurts like hell, and it will be difficult, I know that I can forgive and forget about what has happened while we were separated. You will never have to worry that I will hold it over your head and constantly remind you of what happened. I don't want a relationship like that and I couldn't live with you if I didn't forgive you.

But right now I cannot stand by and wait for you to figure things out while you see someone else. I don't want you to consider this as an ultimatum because it's really for my own sanity, not to push you into something you don't want. If you don't want to stop seeing this guy, that's fine. I don't understand it, but there's nothing I can do about it. If you were seeing someone that was actually on your level and worth spending your time with, I would understand it. So if you want to keep your relationship with him, then just let me know and I won't talk to you again and I will file for divorce. If you are willing to stop seeing him, then I will support you and wait for you as long as it takes for you to figure things out. In either case, please be honest with me and with yourself.

Love,
Husband