DONNA--finding herself #14

[NikB]

Donna - I am really impressed by what he wrote. He put a lot of thought into it.

Still digesting this, but some of it is asking the impossible, at least right now--ex.) accepting his A/feelings for another woman IS going to be damaging to our friendship.

Keep in mind that he may have been writing very generally, what "any" friend is. Not necessarily what he wants from YOU as a friend (although, it clearly looks like a lot of that is intended for you as a friend).

Also... I know this sucks but if you're really only friends, his feelings for a woman/ girlfriend would not be damaging to your friendship. Think of other male friends of yours - is their dating or R/M status of any concern to you? That said - the reality is, he is your H and the father of your kids. Even if he becomes your XH, you can probably never be just "regular ol' friends."

Not sure how to resolve that, just a little more to think about while you're digesting. Kind, courteous, and decent co-parents may be the best thing for you now. Doesn't mean that won't change, but maybe "friends" is just too close at the moment?

I truly believe that if H and I don't make it through this together, I could not be his friend. I'm lucky to have that "luxury" since we don't have kids though.

Your C session sounds great and your C herself sounds excellent, I'm glad for you! I agree with her about the current R - that's why I mentioned that about being friends might be too close. You do have the strength in you, and you know it because you've done it before. Will it be easy?? NO WAY.. but you have the strength.

I am so excited that your trip is coming up!! I did a DB trip to San Diego last year and it was wonderful. So much easier to be "dark" when you're too busy having fun to think about the sitch.