I still think you are missing the point. Maybe Hairdog will show up here and lend his thoughts, for I truly see that he has 'gotten' it. I'll shut up about this until he either answers or declines to.
I believe what Martelo is saying comes off as appearing simple, for it is... yet, by you saying this:
Quote:
gotcha. Still, even that shift is hard to do when your results are mostly "opportunities to learn".
You are showing that you are still attached to outcome.
You shift. Period. It is the gradual yet consistant act of 'shifting.' The results you experience don't make it harder or easier. It is just awkward to always act with consciousness. Yet you do it in order for it to become automatic...
Breathing is one of the most strenuous things your body does. Yet we do it. It's an automatic condition, you don't have to think about it. Imagine if you did have to think about it. You more than likely wouldn't think of much else in a day.
My mother was in a coma and on a ventilator for six weeks... when she came out of it, and off the ventilator, she actually had to retrain her body to breathe on its own. You know how they train you to do that? They just turn off the ventilator, and let you sit there and gasp. It's breathe or suffocate. Can you imagine how terrifying that would be?
So... on one level, it is easy for all of us to say... "just be more confident." I can see it in others, I can even feel it from others... but knowing and feeling what it is to be confident in my own skin is something else. How does confident Corri act? How does she feel? How does she react?
It remains a completely conscious effort... until it isn't. The more I worry and become anxious about outcomes, responses and results, the harder it is going to SEEM, for my focus is no longer on BEING confident... my focus is now on being anxious, worrying, pissy, crabby, fearful... whatever... and escaping those not-so-good feelings... I will revert to old patterns (that never worked anyway, but it's all that I unconsciously know, and therefore it feels easier, simply because it is habit)... but now I am further from my goal than I have ever been...
Make any sense?
Hairdog, if NOTHING else, is now conscious. He is now working on BEING confident. He knows when he is, and he knows when he isn't. But, again, he needs to speak for himself.
