Today i called her to see how she is doing emotoinaly and blatter infection maybe. She doesnt want it to go back the way it was right before she met om. She likes us both doesnt know what to do. She was going on msn messinger and his name was deleted and she thought he took it of and said that she was actually relieved, as she doesnt seem strong enough to make decision. turns out d16 probably did it or d20, I have never used it. She talked to om and he got mad for her doubting her and said that he couldnt delete her list if he wanted to. I dont remember what all was said but i told her whatever she decides it wont work if she puts him on the back burner and tries w/me. I want her committed to us before we try. I told her i/we need counseling to get through this. also mentioned retroville, bassicly to show there are options for us. We are still on for tonight.
She is asking you to fight for her. You should avoid at all costs begging and crying. But you need to let her know what your values are. That you value your family. You want an intact family -- mother, father, children, grandchildren.
You should woo her. Dinner out. Touching. Look her in the eyes when you speak to her. Use her name. Thank her when she does things like make a nice meal, or clean the house. Notice what she does. Ask her to do stuff with you, like the Fargo activities.
And most of all, get her to agree to go to a Retrouvaille weekend with her. (that's pronounced retro-vie.) But you can just call it a marriage retreat weekend. And as I've told others, it's fine to travel to another place to do it. That is the fair chance that you need. A weekend away together focusing just on working on the marriage. If she doesn't do it, she's not giving you and the family a fair chance. http://www.retrouvaille.org., the schedule of weekends is on the web.
And let the kids tell her what they think. Your marriage is not just between the two of you. They have a stake in whether or not there is a mother in their house. You don't have to tell them what to say. They'll figure it out just fine.
Don't let her think you don't care. She wants you to demonstrate that you care. She wants to know that she is not taken for granted. He doesn't take her for granted. You and the kids can't either.
I like what you have said, it confirms im on the right path.
Before this she wouldnt have considered anything w/me, she might now. I am excited but know i have to take it slow. Earlier when we talked on the phone we talked for about 20m. She started talking about their r and she said she had no one else to talk to about it. I told her the same and said i confide in my friends here.
Is the OM stuck workwise or familywise in Minnesota?? If so that can be a deal breaker long term when she would need your permission to take them out of state.
ILF, Om lives in NC and wants to move here to be w/my wife. He doesnt want to leave ocean, but will for her, at least for a while. W doesnt know what she wants right now. Well its just about time to go out to eat.
Hey buddy, Keep the faith dude. You are a strong person. Most others would not be like us.they would just look for the nearest exit. I'll be thinking of ya all.
Manuel(husband)
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
