It's going to be a bumpy ride

[Dom R]

heya...


I agree with most of what you said, being pretty schmucky. Except for the "dawdling over moving out". I see that as the one positive thing he halfway did recently.

As for the other stuff... Yeah, it sure seems to me like he's been having an affair, or affars, for a long time, and this moveout is finally going to let him wallow in it.

lithmus test, as they say:
if he is, 'she' is probably going to move in with him after a few weeks. IF so.. he's going to be really cagy about letting you be over at "his" (their) apartment. Because her stuff will be in it.

So... sit tight and wait and see, i guess.


PS: he's previously divorced? oops. major red light there, i wasnt aware of that, or it slipped my mind.

In that case, he's heading for the divorce express, i would guess sorry.
If he's already crossed that line before, then it's easy for him to step over it again.

That, compared with his really inconsiderate treatment of you in the case, makes me think that the plan b may indeed be the way to go. Start writing up what you think are the critical things for a good marriage between you, including not treating you in those bad ways he has previously done.. and think about it.

I think he is ABLE to be in a good relationship with you. The only question is, will he choose to be?
Neither you nor I know the answer to that one. You can only prepare for each outcome appropriately.


The harley way, would be to slap the letter on him as soon as he moves out.. which would be now, i guess.

The DB way, might be to wait a week or two, see if he's really shacked up with OW, and then make your decision whether or not you want to wait for him based on that.

As someone else just pointed out: it is HIS choice, whether he keeps his vows or not.
What YOU do, is always your choice.

stay strong for you.