Now, if I can just hold it together this week w/ PMA till she leaves!!!
Hopefully meeting Nomo tomorrow, that will fix everything!!!
Me: 46 Wife: 39 D: 13 S: 11, 9, 7 Bomb 3.2.07, Sep Same Day, D papers 11.1.07 Current Status - Wants to take me through Discovery, I will go to prison first.
You've inspired me! I'm going to ask W to see Bourne, she also said she would like to. Then, I will go see it, with our without her. can't put our lives on hold for them! Thanks!
Me 32 WAW 30 D Bomb 7/9 Separated 7/15 Reiterated bomb 8/12 PA 8/21 http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#Post1198643
Couple of things came out of it. Was late when I got back to the dreaded apt so from memory (only a day but when you get old, every hour counts!)
1. She said when I talk about W I sound angry (again!). Crap. I am really working on that cuz I dont really feel angry. What I do in IC is sort of let it all hang out, I am relatively intense anyway so it comes across as angry? Perception is reality so something to change despite my current efforts, I need to reevaluate that part of me. 2. Revelation of sorts - dont know how it came about, but was talking about how W does not initiate anything (sex in particular) and I made the analogy to me going out for a social event (w/ friends or whatever) and that I whined about it before I went out but when I got there, had a good time.....BINGO! So the analogy is, she did not initiate, but when actually "doing something" she was into it. MMMMHHHH. CVA says, CVA should have thought of this before! I thought I was not going to learn anything! 3. Did a little role playing on my part...Needy CVA talking to CVA. What does Needy CVA do for CVA. Said I was destructive cuz I was too big in his life, i.e. always needing more from others (specifically W) than they could give and as a result pushed them away. Pretty good, I knew this already, just interesting to put yourself in the role as NEEDY CVA only. Whole CVA needs to gain control of Needy CVA not the other way around.
Good evening w/ W. She was upbeat (feeling better), wathced a good movie believe it or not ("Disturbia" w/ the kid from Transformers.) I was suprised, good thriller, not too predictable. W seemed to really like as did I. If you see it, there is an opening seen which puts how fragile life is into perspective and W says "oh, I was not prepared for that". HMMMM. ........yes, ended w/ a backrub.
CVA
Me: 46 Wife: 39 D: 13 S: 11, 9, 7 Bomb 3.2.07, Sep Same Day, D papers 11.1.07 Current Status - Wants to take me through Discovery, I will go to prison first.
Me: 46 Wife: 39 D: 13 S: 11, 9, 7 Bomb 3.2.07, Sep Same Day, D papers 11.1.07 Current Status - Wants to take me through Discovery, I will go to prison first.
1. She said when I talk about W I sound angry (again!). Crap. I am really working on that cuz I dont really feel angry. What I do in IC is sort of let it all hang out, I am relatively intense anyway so it comes across as angry? Perception is reality so something to change despite my current efforts, I need to reevaluate that part of me.
I don' think you're angry, but your intensity probably comes across that way. You are focused, particularly on your sitch. Think about how you are around a goodf friend who you are relaxed around. Or how you would act around a sister. I think if you could truly adopt that "as if" attitude, it might help your sitch a lot. Of course, you will have to show it consistently over time (actions not words).
Nomo
M 39 W 39 M'd 10 yrs; T 14 yrs S7 D4 Bomb 5-8-05 W not working on M 1-22-07; EA 2-22 DB 4-10 S 6-11 No more C Link
I've been told by my W, and realized the extent to which I was unable to have intimacy without my needy expectation that it would lead to sex. Some of the comments about your C session made bells go off in my head.
Me 40 W 38 S 4 M 7.75 ILYBNILWY 6/8/07 "do not want to be your W" 6/16/07 DB'ing 6/30/07
1st M 6 yrs; she was my first WAW
first thread [url=link] http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1149309&page=5#Post1149309 [/url]
