So I ask again, why? Why is making an effort to have a better sex life a bad thing? Why does it seem that if it isn't effortless it's second-rate?
I think that what happens is that men want to WIN you. When we are dating, we are putting on our best face to WIN your desire. If we win your desire, we continue dating, but if we can not win your desire, then we move onto someone that we can win.
For example: I will go out and move several tons of rock into my back yard to complete some landscaping, a project that I know my wife wanted done. So I have spend DAYS working on this project to make her castle a bit better, something that seems to be important to her. I am trying to win her desire. The repsonse I want is for her to openly WANT to do me. Any other response is a complete waste of time.
As Dr. Laura says, men want admiration and desire. It is just that simple. I know that I do not want anything else from my wife.
Willingness is ok as long as it is only temporary. Several experts I have read make it clear that in the long run, desire must return, or BOTH spouses will again began to resent each other. Willingness can not last.
Its just like dating, us guys date women to win their desire. If they don't desire, we move on. Why would marriage be any different?
