You all still think I should not reach out for any affection, even a hug? Like I said it has been weeks since I have stopped and he hasn't initiated... (Did I happen to mention that he is the most stubborn person I know? And all his friends/family would agree with that one!) Which makes me think, if I don't he NEVER will...
If you are reaching out, whose needs does that seem to meet?
Some of the most important things to mellow my W's attitude have demonstrated how I have thought about what she might need (bringing her cell phone to work because she was going out after work, packing leftovers so she could take them for lunch, typing something for her blog so she could just post it, bringing her unexpected flowers to work). This way, she knows I am aware of what she needs and am not forcing my way into her thoughts.
In the past, I would have tried to turn any affection from her into an opportunity to escalate the level of intimacy. That was a major turnoff because it is selfish. Now, if my W reaches out for me in bed, I just take her hand, hold it and am happy to be connected.
If H is so stubborn, any pressure will just make him dig his heels in further. This might sound weird, but have you thought about asking for permission for a hug instead of just reaching out? Rejection sucks either way, but at least by asking, you are respecting his right (even as a dude) to say no.
Me 40 W 38 S 4 M 7.75 ILYBNILWY 6/8/07 "do not want to be your W" 6/16/07 DB'ing 6/30/07
1st M 6 yrs; she was my first WAW
first thread [url=link] http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1149309&page=5#Post1149309 [/url]
