That's AWESOME! I think it is perfect that you had that interaction today so that it sets that stage for having your talk on Thurs. It will kind of make the last stand talk seem not so out of the blue, you know?
It is really neat how things that you initially thought might have been negatives (raft trip, D's thumb), actually turned out to be great positives because of how well you handled them. Cool!
I think it is perfect that you had that interaction today so that it sets that stage for having your talk on Thurs. It will kind of make the last stand talk seem not so out of the blue, you know?
I completely agree! I dare say it is almost like an act of Destiny the way today played out and set me up for the talk. My DB coach has said to look for moments that lend to the talk so it will not seem forced, and this seemed to be one of them. However, I think that you and the others are right that not bringing it up today was in my best interest. It really does give W more time to reflect on the changes I've made in my behaviors, as well as the positive interactions between us and what she is potentially giving up. Today we really did have the first comfortable talk since the separation. The more I think about it, more I think it showed some level of W's desire to get closer to me. Why else would she stick around just talking and enjoying herself after receiving the cell phone charm and note? It seems to me that she would've tried to avoid me or limit the interaction as much as possible if she didn't like the idea of the charm or if it made her feel uncomfortable. It just seems like some basic math here to me: showing change in behavior + thoughtfulness w/ charm = W lingering and having good talk. I hope I'm not getting overly optimistic, just to be shot down in a few days. I really think I'll get some good talk on Thursday that reveals W's acknowledgements of my changes and whatnot, but that ultimately I may get denied in postponing the D. Guess we'll see.
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It is really neat how things that you initially thought might have been negatives (raft trip, D's thumb), actually turned out to be great positives because of how well you handled them. Cool!
I couldn't agree more! In fact, I'm really happy that they happened now!
Hope all has been well with you -- I'll be checking in on your sitch sometime tomorrow, I believe. Can't wait to see you in a few days and put a face with a username!
GD, just caught up & wanted to say I found a Lindy thing going on this Sat in Orlando while you'll be here, but I see that you've found it too. I think we def. need to see you bustamove and, just speaking for myself o/c, am up for trying it out w/you. Beginner's class is from 7-8 & the dance is 8-1; don't understand totally how the competition happens at the same time? but, I guess unless we (I) fall onto/into someone else who is seriously Daning, it can't be all bad, right? So, bring your dancin' shoes!
Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
Me: 45 - WAH: 36 S8; D6 M: 11 yrs 07/06 Initial Bomb 10/06; D Bomb 11/06 - DBing begun 1/5/07 - H moved out 03/16/07 To date: No papers filed; H not seen a L; trying to convince me to MUTUALLY file for D
I was hoping you'd be interested in that! I was thinking beginner lessons too for those who were interested, and maybe hang for a bit and do some open dance afterwards. I don't know how the competition works at the same time either, but I was thinking about doing the Strictly Amateur competition if I can find a decent partner out there. There is also a workshop on Saturday and one on Sunday that I think I'd like to attend, just so you know. I'm also thinking about catching a cab back to the 1-5 a.m. dance at some point Saturday night (big maybe on that one though!).
I'm stoked about there being a Lindy Regional Championships going on while I'm visiting, but am torn between how to split my time with it and with you guys . I really want to see the best of the best bust it for sure though, just so I can see what I can look forward to someday!
One thing is for sure -- my explanation to W that I'm going to a Lindy event is now legit!
I'm bumping my Last Stand Talk draft #3 up to the top to see if anyone else has any feedback. I'm 24 hrs away from it, so I need as much insight as I can get right now. Thanks!
GD
"I know that the D is going to be final on the 16th -- a week from today -- and I just want you to know that I'm still not convinced that it's the best solution for us. I strongly believe we can be happy again like we've been in the past; that we can start fresh with a clean slate and enjoy life in a way we both want. If there's any part of you that feels the same way, then I'd like for us to postpone the D and continue with the separation the way it is now, or even file for Legal Separation instead for the time being and put no time limit on things. If later down the road you decide that a D is really for the best, then we can always resume it and I will not stand in your way. I want you to know that over the last few months I've come to realize I will be happy, with or without you -- I really will -- I just prefer it to be with you.
I'm not looking for you to give me an answer right now. I just want to put it out there as something to consider and that's all, and if you'd like to sit down sometime and talk about anything then I'd be more than happy to do that."
