Hmm, that's a tough one. It comes down to the vibe that is given off I think. There is a subtle difference between being game and being permissive. When she's sending off signals of let's take care of you but I'm not interested in getting off myself or hurry up and finish, then it isn't the least bit appealing. I might as well be boinking a blow-up doll. On the other hand, when she gives off signals that she wants it (for her, not to satisfy me) then it is great. It's perhaps a subtle difference, but it shows through pretty clearly.
Think of it in terms of QT. It is the like difference between asking you how you feel about something, but not taking the extra effort needed to put yourself in the other's shoes to really understand the response. You've done enough to fill the square asking about her feelings, but haven't really done all that is needed to grok the feeling, KWIM?
See, it isn't offensive that she has to try, it is more a dissappointment that the need is only getting met superficially. Can you see the difference, and that one is satisfying while the other, while the effort is appreciated, kind of misses the mark? It is extremely frustrating to see her try so hard and still miss the mark.
For me, I am a PT and QT guy. MrsGGB is WOA and AOS. We have little if any overlap in our LL's, which I am sure is as frustrating to her as it is to me. I can't get MrsGGB to talk to me about her feelings. Even with the Marriage Encounter dialog, getting to her feelings was like pulling teeth, as she just wouldn't let me see inside. I'm not sure which is more frustrating for me, the lack of QT and not sharing feelings (she insists she does) or the awkwardness in bed. In both cases, it often feels to me like I am a chore that has to be done rather than something that is willingly shared, and that simply makes me feel awful.
