If QT is uncomfortable for CAC, then asking him to deal with it so you can be comfortable may not seem fair to him. But he may be able to deal with some lesser amount, knowing that you are having to deal with provide him PT. Since you two are in a sort of power struggle, I think it important that you both feel like you are sacrificing equally.
I don't think that any HD guy here with an LD wife, cac included wants to think that his wife is "dealing with provid[ing] him PT" or that she is "sacrificing." This was the point of my OP.
Would my "dealing with" and "sacrificing" be more acceptable because I'm trying to improve the SL? How is this different that my "dealing with" and "sacrificing" when I was just LD?
Fran responded that it can be a problem "if it is obvious it is an effort or a chore to speak the other person's LL. If it is done with bad grace and a certain amount of grousing or unwillingness."
And I say, obvious to whom? How can we be objective about this? Sex is such a hot-button issue for all of us that I think we tend to read into it what we believe and not necessarily what is actually in front of us.
