Why do you feel responsible if Cac4 is upset or sad? Do you believe it is your responsibility to "make" him happy? Do you believe it is HIS responsibility to "make" you happy?
My gut response is that yes, I feel responsible if cac is upset or sad and I feel responsible for making him happy. I pretty much feel responsible for everything. I felt responsible for making my mother happy. It's the parentification role I adopted.
I don't think I believe that it's his responsibility to make me happy, but I think on some level HE thinks it is. In fact, he has said to me in the past, when I've been upset and he's been wishing he could fix the problem, "I just want you to be happy."
Lately I am convinced that he is miserable, and because he's spent half of his life with me, *I* have made him miserable. Sometimes I think the he would have been happier had he not married me. Yes, I feel responsible for his unhappiness.
For example, Mrscac4, if you feel that QT is important, you might also feel that if cac4 doesn't want to spend QT with you it is a JUDGMENT of how he feels about you, how interesting you are, etc. And instead it may just be his discomfort with opening up.
Yes, I have definitely felt this way, and it goes back to my FOO issues with my mother. Logically I know that he finds it difficult to open up, but I always end up thinking that he doesn't talk to me because he doesn't want to talk to ME.
