This is from Kettricken's "Empathy Spectrum" on the other thread:
Extreme "fused" empathy with the other's feelings. Acknowlegement of the other's feelings means no decision can be made which would cause those feelings to be discounted or "violated". One's own agenda consistently takes a back seat through unwillingness to see a partner suffer preventable emotional pain, unwillingness to "be the bad guy".
This is so me that it's scary. However, I think I do sometimes rebel against it and then I appear like her category 1:
Refusal to acknowlege the other's feelings as valid, logical, worthwhile, important, etc. Decisions made purely on one's own agenda and desires.
I would guess that I'm not the only dysfunctional person who vacillates between categories. ******************* This morning I confronted cac with another issue I had and it wasn't good. I didn't even intend to get into this but it happened anyway. My parents had been visiting the area for 3 weeks and during that time I purposely didn't bring up any issues because doing so usually makes things between cac and me temporarily worse. I did not want to get into any conversations with my mother about my marriage and I didn't have an appointment with the C, so I thought the only thing I could do was to suppress my feelings and issues. This, of course, is never a good idea. Whenever I do this, it always comes out, at the worst time and in the worst way.
He left for work angry and he hasn't even seen this stuff yet. His anger scares me, not because of him, but because of ME. I'm afraid of his anger. I feel responsible for it in a way. I feel like I have to choose between making him angry or suppressing my feelings and both choices are destructive. Lose-lose.
