Sorry if I was too direct, but honestly, I did not say anything a good counselor would not say. It might take a little more time for him/her to get a handle on the situation, but the facts are the facts.
Furthermore, there is nothing I could have said that would have any impact at all on Chuck had he been taking care of his side of the marriage. He has no reason to be upset with you or me or anyone else. If criticism of his actions bothers him, then the best thing for him to do is disarm those critics by eliminating the fuel for that criticism. Only he can do that. If he reacts in a negative way, he will fuel more criticism. That is human nature. He is exactly the same way. He has been on this board criticizing you. You changed so he has less ammo to throw at he. He hasn't changed so he is still susceptible. Which path will he take? I know which one EVERYONE on this board is rooting for.
Chuck, sorry if I was too harsh, but I would love to see you take charge of your marriage and turn it around. The very fact that your wife would come on here and try to retract her statements and exhibit fear of your anger says a lot. Is this what you wanted when you first started posting?
I replied to Lil that there are three options to troubled marriages - 1) put up with less sex, intimacy, validation, etc, 2) rattle the cage enough to bring about change and repair the marriage, 3) leave. Which option are each of you choosing?
