Here's an example. I've written about cac's smoking and how it bothers me. He will shower at night sometimes, but it usually is with the expectation that we will have sex.
Is he expecting sex, hoping for sex, or leaving the door open for sex? Are you sure you can tell the difference?
Originally Posted By: mrs.cac4
(I drew a boundary and told him that I wouldn't have sex unless he was showered.) I'm not interested (at least right now) in having sex every night. However, I'd love to be able to cuddle etc. during those "off" nights, with him showered of course. I don't see this as an option, if he expects sex every time he comes to bed showered. This makes me feel pressured to perform.
Which, like Cobra mentioned, discourages him from doing things that make you feel pressured to perform, which leads to...
Originally Posted By: mrs.cac4
So he only showers when he thinks we will have sex, which really means missed opportunities for one thing leading to another.
a fine and enviable madness, this delusion that all questions have answers, and nothing is beyond the reach of a strong left arm.
