Had a bad on Friday. Left work early and went back to the martial home. Just as I pop my key in the door it opens up and there is the wife, with my kids and the OM blod ad brass.
"You, Out, Now" I say as he scuttles off. Controlled myself well, in front of the kids, don't want them to see me angry.
They all went out for te afternoon, and I was left alone. I hit absolute rock bottom. Could hardly breath, could hardly see, couldn't do anything much really except bawl my eyes out. The pain was intense. I have never felt anything like it. It lasted for about 3 hours.
I finaly got a grip of myself, and let her know it was safe to bring the kids back home. She then left for the weekend. (It was my turn to look after the kids).
Once I had put them to bed, I took a long hard look at myself. I decided that I was not going to let her (or anyone else) close enough to me to do this to me again. I was an absolute wreck. I have effectively emotionaly closed down now.
When she got back Sunday evening, she wanted to talk. I must admit I didn't really want to, however we had a very short and to the point discussion about what had happened. Couldn't even bring myself to look at her much. She tried to cuddle me, I told her no leave it!
Then I left. I have texted her twice, both times about the kids, but to be honest, I don't really want to see her at the moment.
I'm having the kids at the matial home again tonight, so it will be interesting to see what happens when she comes home tonight.
I really don't trust this woman anymore, She has hurt me like no other person on the planet and all the "I never meant to hurt you" s is never going to fix that.
Just ranting really I guess. Thanks for listening!
