maybe he's not longer satisfied with a life based on friendship and companionship and really does want a sexual connection. Is that possible or something you sense from him? Is that something you'd be willing to give more of in the future?
Oh yeah, I think that's definitely huge huge huge. And I'm not happy about it, either, so yes, I'm absolutely willing to change that, and yesterday.
Originally Posted By: Heimlich
One other thing struck me in that you seem to be blaming your H for walking. It takes two to make and break a R, what's your role in all of this?
Interesting. I don't blame him for his feelings, but I might be blaming him for what I perceive as a threat to leave instead of working on it. That part hurts. I definitely bear (at least) half the responsibility: first is the sex part, secondly I've seen distance creeping between us and have been too lazy to work aggressively to stop it, third (in retrospect, of course) I don't think I've heard his need to spend more time together, and fourth I haven't trusted him enough to let myself be emotionally vulnerable to him. There's probably more, but those are the four that leap to mind.
Originally Posted By: Heimlich
Maybe in a week or too take a moment to reiterate your feelings to him -- briefly -- to let him know that although you're doing your best to be happy, you don't want him to think that you're moving on without him. That make sense?
Yes, that makes a lot of sense, thanks. It's a tightrope walk for me, because I tend to appear strong to the point of not needing him, which is a defense mechanism of mine (fear of vulnerability, see above). So by acting like everything's fine, my brain says hey, everything's fine, and I can work myself right into believing I don't need him. I'm not putting that well, sorry, but hopefully it's clear.
